Quotes

  • It has been my experience that folks who have no vices have very few virtues.

  • You can fool all the people some of the time, and some of the people all the time, but you cannot fool all the people all the time.

    Abraham Lincoln


  • This too shall pass. [Reflection on the temporary nature of the human condition].

    Adage


  • Nothing is more dangerous than for a seaman to be grudging in taking precautions.

    Admiral Nimitz


  • About this time I like to have a Pot Noodle.

    Alexei Sayle


  • The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity. The fears are paper tigers. You can do anything you decide to do. You can act to change and control your life; and the procedure, the process is its own reward.

    Amelia Earhart


  • Not everyone can become a great artist, but a great artist can come from anywhere.

    Anton Ego, Ratatouille


  • Tell me and I forget. Teach me and I remember. Involve me and I learn.

    Benjamin Franklin


  • Resistance Is futile.

    Borg


  • [Crowd in unison] Yes, we are all different! [Man in crowd] I'm not.

    Brian, Monty Python


  • To infinity... and beyond.

    Buzz Lightyear


  • Nothing in this world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not: nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not: the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent.

    Calvin Coolidge


  • Everyone has a book inside them, which is exactly where it should, I think, in most cases, remain.

    Christopher Hitchens


  • Assume nothing.

    Directive in 8086 assembler


  • Trust me, I'm like a smart person.

    Donald Trump


  • If it looks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, we have at least to consider the possibility that we have a small aquatic bird of the family anatidae on our hands.

  • Space is big. Really big. You just won't believe how vastly, hugely, mind-bogglingly big it is. I mean, you may think it's a long way down the road to the chemist's, but that's just peanuts to space.

    Douglas Adams


  • ...you spend a much larger part of your life being old, not young. Rules change along the way. The first things to go are those things you thought were eternal.

  • And his computer's spell-check always forces him to capitalize the word "Internet". Come on; World War Two earned its capitalization. The Internet just sucks human beings away from reality.

  • But then a bumblebee bumbled above us and it stole our attention the way flying things can.

  • By the age of twenty, you know you're not going to be a rock star. By twenty-five, you know you're not going to be a dentist or any kind of professional. And by thirty, darkness starts moving in - you wonder if you're ever going to be fulfilled, let alone wealthy and successful. By thirty-five, you know, basically, what you're going to be doing for the rest of your life, and you become resigned to your fate.....I mean, why do people live so long? What could be the difference between death at fifty-five and death at sixty-five or seventy-five or eighty-five? Those extra years... what benefit could they possibly have? Why do we go on living even though nothing new happens, nothing new is learned, and nothing new is transmitted? At fifty-five, your story's pretty much over.

  • Ethan and I drove around Silicon Valley today looking at various company parking lots to see whose workers are working on a Sunday. He says that's the surest way to tell which company to invest in. "If the techies aren't grinding, the stock ain't climbing”.

  • I don't remember where I was before I was born, why should I be worried about where I go after I die?.

  • If you don't change, then what's the point of anything happening to you? It'll still be happening to an unchanged person.

  • It’s hard to get mad at Neal, because he suffers from a medical condition called total fucking stupidity.

  • Nothing very very good and nothing very very bad ever lasts for very very long.

  • One of the cruelest things you can do to another person is pretend you care about them more than you really do.

  • People who advocate simplicity have money in the bank; the money came first, not the simplicity.

  • Question: If there were two of you which one would win?.

  • Rick, I'm holding a do-I-give-a-shit-ometer in my hand, and the needle's not moving. Shut up.

  • Sometimes I think God is like weather - you may not like the weather, but it has nothing to do with you. You just happen to be there. Deal with it.

  • The best thing about being young is being stupid. Or rather, the best thing about being young is being too stupid to know how stupid you really are.

  • There is no shame in impulse.

  • We instinctively wave to people on trains because trains are a metaphor for being alive: countless souls, trapped together, hurtling across the landscape, with a destination somewhere in the unseeable distance. Nobody ever waves at buses.

    Douglas Coupland


  • Plans are worthless, but planning is everything.

    Dwight D. Eisenhower


  • In a few wretched buildings, we created a whole new industry with international significance.

  • There's a rule they don't teach you at the Harvard Business School. It is, if anything is worth doing, it's worth doing to excess.

  • We use bull's eye empiricism. We try everything, but we try the right thing first.

    Edwin H. Land


  • If In doubt, ask.

    Engineering schematic rubric


  • Every man's life ends the same way. It is only the details of how he lived and how he died that distinguish one man from another.

  • The best way to find out if you can trust somebody is to trust them.

    Ernest Hemingway


  • If you treat people right they will treat you right... ninety percent of the time.

    Franklin D. Roosevelt


  • It is far better to be alone, than to be in bad company.

    George Washington


  • God...created a number of possibilities in case some of his prototypes failed — that is the meaning of evolution.

  • However great a man’s fear of life, suicide remains the courageous act, the clear-headed act of a mathematician. The suicide has judged by the laws of chance—so many odds against one that to live will be more miserable than to die. His sense of mathematics is greater than his sense of survival. But think how a sense of survival must clamour to be heard at the last moment, what excuses it must present of a totally unscientific nature.

  • My two fingers on a typewriter have never connected with my brain. My hand on a pen does. A fountain pen, of course. Ball-point pens are only good for filling out forms on a plane.

  • Sooner or later...one has to take sides – if one is to remain human.

  • We’d forgive most things if we knew the facts.

    Graham Greene


  • What is a history teacher? He's someone who teaches mistakes.

    Graham Swift


  • I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.

    Grant Allen


  • “I hope you had a pleasant time, Mr. Marx!” “I had a wonderful time, but this wasn’t it".

    Groucho Marx


  • There is nothing permanent except change.

    Heraclitus


  • I’ve learned that life is one crushing defeat after another.

    Homer Simpson


  • I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me.

  • I learned a long time ago that reality was much weirder than anyone's imagination.

  • The person who doesn't scatter the morning dew will not comb gray hairs.

    Hunter S. Thompson


  • To the well-organized mind, death is but the next great adventure.

    J.K. Rowling


  • 'We all make mistakes.' As the Dalek said, climbing off the dustbin.

    Jasper Carrot


  • Don't flip the bozo bit. [Dynamics of Software Development].

    Jim McCarthy


  • I'm a person who has always believed that you tell people the truth, and they'll make reasonable decisions. Truth is powerful.

    John F. Kerry


  • [On his Top of the Pops debut] "In case you're wondering who this funny old bloke is, I'm the one who comes on Radio 1 late at night and plays records made by sulky Belgian art students in basements dying of TB.".

  • I just want to hear something I haven't heard before.

    John Peel


  • If you obey all the rules, you miss all the fun.

    Katharine Hepburn


  • Art is never finished, only abandoned.

    Leonardo da Vinci


  • In 1969 I published a small book on Humility. It was a pioneering work which has not, to my knowledge, been superseded.

    Lord Longford


  • Listen to your mother, kids. Aim low. Aim so low no one will even care if you succeed.

    Marge Simpson


  • Continuous improvement is better than delayed perfection.

  • History never repeats itself, but it rhymes.

  • I do not fear death. I had been dead for billions and billions of years before I was born, and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it.

  • Life is short, break the rules. Forgive quickly, kiss slowly. Love truly. Laugh uncontrollably and never regret anything that makes you smile.

  • The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.

  • The secret of getting ahead is getting started.

    Mark Twain


  • You train animals; you educate people.

    Maya Angelou


  • I’ve missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. Twenty-six times I’ve been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.

    Michael Jordan


  • Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the world.

    Nelson Mandela


  • Art is theft.

  • Go and do the things you can’t. That is how you get to do them.

  • Learn the rules like a professional, so you can break them like an artist.

  • We all know that art is not truth. Art is a lie that makes us realize truth at least the truth that is given us to understand. The artist must know the manner whereby to convince others of the truthfulness of his lies.

  • We artists are indestructible, even in a prison cell or a concentration camp I would be all right in my own world of art. Even if I had to paint my pictures with my tongue on the dusty floor of my cell.

  • What one does is what counts and not what one had the intention of doing.

  • Without great solitude, no serious work is possible.

    Pablo Picasso


  • Wise men speak because they have something to say; fools because they have to say something.

    Plato


  • Ich bin ein Berliner. [I am a citizen of Berlin.] [I am a jelly doughnut].

    President John F. Kennedy


  • No money: no honey.

    Prostitute’s negotiation


  • Rules are made to be broken.

  • Speech is silver, silence is golden.

    Proverb


  • Don't judge each day by the harvest you reap but by the seeds that you plant.

    Robert Louis Stevenson


  • Somewhere on this globe, every ten seconds, there is a woman giving birth to a child. She must be found and stopped.

  • You must learn from the mistakes of others. You can't possibly live long enough to make them all yourself.

    Sam Levenson


  • I'm giving her all she's got, captain.

    Scotty


  • Being entirely honest with oneself is a good exercise.

    Sigmund Freud


  • Try everything once, except incest and folk dancing.

    Sir Thomas Beecham


  • All men are cremated equal.

  • Hello, I'm Spike Milligna - the well-known spelling mistake.

  • I have the body of an eighteen year old. I keep it in the fridge.

  • I told you I was ill. {Epitaph}.

  • I'm not afraid of dying, I just don't want to be there when it happens.

    Spike Milligan


  • Live long and prosper.

    Spock


  • My first words, as I was being born... I looked up at my mother and said, "that's the last time I'm coming out one of those".

    Stephen Fry


  • Success is not built on success. It's built on failure. It's built on frustration. Sometimes it's built on catastrophe.

    Sumner Redstone


  • A successful suicide demands good organization and a cool head, both of which are usually incompatible with the suicidal state of mind.

  • I think many people kill themselves simply to stop the debate about whether they will or they won't.

    Susanna Kaysen


  • Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go.

    T. S. Eliot


  • Speak softly and carry a big stick.

    Theodore Roosevelt


  • I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.

    Thomas Edison


  • “If you've been in the software business for any time at all, you know that there are certain common problems that plague one project after another. Missed schedules and creeping requirements are not things that just happen to you once and then go away, never to appear again. Rather, they are part of the territory. We all know that. What's odd is that we don't plan our projects as if we knew it. Instead, we plan as if our past problems are locked in the past and will never rear their ugly heads again. Of course, you know that isn't a reasonable expectation.”.

  • “It’s a rare company I visit these days that doesn’t have a Dilbert cartoon posted somewhere. I guess the message of these cartoons is “Our company is in some ways like Dilbert’s company, ” or, even worse, “My boss is in some ways like Dilbert’s boss.” When I encounter these cartoons, I always want to find the person who posted them and ask, “Yes, but are you like Dilbert?” Are you keeping your head down? Are you accepting senseless direction when it’s offered? Are you letting the bureaucracy dominate at the expense of the real goals? If so, I’d like to tell that person, then you’re part of the problem. At the risk of being a total killjoy, I propose that you look at the next Dilbert cartoon that falls under your eye in a totally different way. I propose that you ask yourself about Dilbert’s role in whatever corporate nonsense is the butt of the joke. Ask yourself, How should Dilbert have responded? (The real Dilbert, of course, never responds at all.) How could Dilbert have made this funny situation distinctly nonfunny? What could he have done to put an end to such absurdities? There is always an obvious answer. Sometimes the action is one that would get Dilbert fired. It’s easy (and fair) to blame lousy management on lousy managers. But it’s not enough. It’s also necessary to blame the people who allow themselves to be managed so badly. At least partly at fault for every bad management move is some gutless Dilbert who allows it to happen.”.

  • Each switch imposes a direct penalty of a bit more than twenty minutes of lost concentration.

  • In my early years as a developer, I was privileged to work on a project managed by Sharon Weinberg, later to become president of the Codd and Date Consulting Group. She was a walking example of much of what I now think of as enlightened management. One snowy day, I dragged myself out of a sickbed to pull together our shaky system for a user demo. Sharon came in and found me propped up at the console. She disappeared and came back a few minutes later with a container of soup. After she’d poured it into me and buoyed up my spirits, I asked her how she found time for such things with all the management work she had to do. She gave me her patented grin and said, “Tom, this is management.”.

  • The purpose of a team is not goal attainment, but goal alignment.

    Tom DeMarco


  • You can't abdicate and eat it.

    Wallis Simpson


  • Physics works, and I'm still alive.

    Walter Lewin


  • The pessimist complains about the wind; the optimist expects it to change; the realist adjusts the sails.

    William Arthur Ward


  • I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.

  • It is a mistake to try to look too far ahead. The chain of destiny can only be grasped one link at a time.

  • Keep Buggering On. (KBO).

  • Never hold discussions with the monkey when the organ grinder is in the room.

  • The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter.

  • The greatest lesson in life is to know that even fools are right sometimes.

  • When the eagles are silent, the parrots begin to jabber.

  • Writing a book is an adventure. To begin with it is a toy then an amusement. Then it becomes a mistress, and then it becomes a master, and then it becomes a tyrant and, in the last stage, just as you are about to be reconciled to your servitude, you kill the monster and fling him to the public.

  • You can always count on Americans to do the right thing - after they've tried everything else.

    Winston Churchill


  • If the world were perfect, it wouldn't be.

  • When you come to a fork in the road, take it.

    Yogi Berra

Page last edited 1st June 2018. [email protected]