• It has been my experience that folks who have no vices have very few virtues.

  • You can fool all the people some of the time, and some of the people all the time, but you cannot fool all the people all the time.

    Abraham Lincoln

  • Nothing is more dangerous than for a seaman to be grudging in taking precautions.

    Admiral Nimitz

  • About this time I like to have a Pot Noodle.

    Alexei Sayle

  • The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity. The fears are paper tigers. You can do anything you decide to do. You can act to change and control your life; and the procedure, the process is its own reward.

    Amelia Earhart

  • Not everyone can become a great artist, but a great artist can come from anywhere.

    Anton Ego, Ratatouille

  • Tell me and I forget. Teach me and I remember. Involve me and I learn.

    Benjamin Franklin

  • Resistance Is futile.


  • [Crowd in unison] Yes, we are all different! [Man in crowd] I'm not.

    Brian, Monty Python

  • Nothing in this world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not: nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not: the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent.

    Calvin Coolidge

  • Everyone has a book inside them, which is exactly where it should, I think, in most cases, remain.

    Christopher Hitchens

  • Assume nothing.

    Directive in 8086 assembler

  • Trust me, I'm like a smart person.

    Donald Trump

  • If it looks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, we have at least to consider the possibility that we have a small aquatic bird of the family anatidae on our hands.

  • Space is big. Really big. You just won't believe how vastly, hugely, mind-bogglingly big it is. I mean, you may think it's a long way down the road to the chemist's, but that's just peanuts to space.

    Douglas Adams

  • Plans are worthless, but planning is everything.

    Dwight D. Eisenhower

  • In a few wretched buildings, we created a whole new industry with international significance.

  • There's a rule they don't teach you at the Harvard Business School. It is, if anything is worth doing, it's worth doing to excess.

  • We use bull's eye empiricism. We try everything, but we try the right thing first.

    Edwin H. Land

  • If In doubt, ask.

    Engineering schematic rubric

  • The best way to find out if you can trust somebody is to trust them.

    Ernest Hemingway

  • If you treat people right they will treat you right... ninety percent of the time.

    Franklin D. Roosevelt

  • It is far better to be alone, than to be in bad company.

    George Washington

  • What is a history teacher? He's someone who teaches mistakes.

    Graham Swift

  • “I hope you had a pleasant time, Mr. Marx!” “I had a wonderful time, but this wasn’t it".

    Groucho Marx

  • There is nothing permanent except change.


  • I’ve learned that life is one crushing defeat after another.

    Homer Simpson

  • 'We all make mistakes.' As the Dalek said, climbing off the dustbin.

    Jasper Carrot

  • [On his Top of the Pops debut] "In case you're wondering who this funny old bloke is, I'm the one who comes on Radio 1 late at night and plays records made by sulky Belgian art students in basements dying of TB.".

  • I just want to hear something I haven't heard before.

    John Peel

  • If you obey all the rules, you miss all the fun.

    Katharine Hepburn

  • Art is never finished, only abandoned.

    Leonardo da Vinci

  • In 1969 I published a small book on Humility. It was a pioneering work which has not, to my knowledge, been superseded.

    Lord Longford

  • Listen to your mother, kids. Aim low. Aim so low no one will even care if you succeed.

    Marge Simpson

  • History never repeats itself, but it rhymes.

  • The secret of getting ahead is getting started.

    Mark Twain

  • I’ve missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. Twenty-six times I’ve been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.

    Michael Jordan

  • Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the world.

    Nelson Mandela

  • Wise men speak because they have something to say; fools because they have to say something.


  • Ich bin ein Berliner. [I am a citizen of Berlin.] [I am a jelly doughnut].

    President John F. Kennedy

  • No money: no honey.

    Prostitute’s negotiation

  • Rules are made to be broken.

  • Speech is silver, silence is golden.


  • Don't judge each day by the harvest you reap but by the seeds that you plant.

    Robert Louis Stevenson

  • Somewhere on this globe, every ten seconds, there is a woman giving birth to a child. She must be found and stopped.

  • You must learn from the mistakes of others. You can't possibly live long enough to make them all yourself.

    Sam Levenson

  • I'm giving her all she's got, captain.


  • Being entirely honest with oneself is a good exercise.

    Sigmund Freud

  • Try everything once, except incest and folk dancing.

    Sir Thomas Beecham

  • All men are cremated equal.

  • Hello, I'm Spike Milligna - the well-known spelling mistake.

  • I have the body of an eighteen year old. I keep it in the fridge.

  • I told you I was ill.

  • I'm not afraid of dying, I just don't want to be there when it happens.

    Spike Milligan

  • Live long and prosper.


  • My first words, as I was being born... I looked up at my mother and said, "that's the last time I'm coming out one of those".

    Stephen Fry

  • Success is not built on success. It's built on failure. It's built on frustration. Sometimes its built on catastrophe.

    Sumner Redstone

  • Speak softly and carry a big stick.

    Theodore Roosevelt

  • I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.

    Thomas Edison

  • You can't abdicate and eat it.

    Wallis Simpson

  • Physics works, and I'm still alive.

    Walter Lewin

  • The pessimist complains about the wind; the optimist expects it to change; the realist adjusts the sails.

    William Arthur Ward

  • I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.

  • It is a mistake to try to look too far ahead. The chain of destiny can only be grasped one link at a time.

  • Keep Buggering On. (KBO).

  • Never hold discussions with the monkey when the organ grinder is in the room.

  • The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter.

  • The greatest lesson in life is to know that even fools are right sometimes.

  • When the eagles are silent, the parrots begin to jabber.

  • Writing a book is an adventure. To begin with it is a toy then an amusement. Then it becomes a mistress, and then it becomes a master, and then it becomes a tyrant and, in the last stage, just as you are about to be reconciled to your servitude, you kill the monster and fling him to the public.

  • You can always count on Americans to do the right thing - after they've tried everything else.

    Winston Churchill

  • If the world were perfect, it wouldn't be.

  • When you come to a fork in the road, take it.

    Yogi Berra

Page last edited 1st June 2018. [email protected]