Jolly Molly does The Cotswolds

Nick takes his elderly mother for a week in the Cotswolds. 

This year's holiday destination: Bishop's Cleeve at the foot of the western escarpment.

Hopefully Jolly Molly, will be able to amuse herself a bit this year. She has organised a Sunday Afternoon Tea with an old school friend and daughter. There's another friend in Tewksbury she must see that's "still with us." Judith, my sister, has been instructed to attend on Friday.

Jolly Molly wants to snoop around Gloucester Cathedral one day. So that leaves 2 days yet to be organised.

Let's see how I cope....

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Bishop's Cleeve

Pre-programming the GPS with the location of the house made the job of finding the house very easy.

We arrive at 15:40 and are greeted by the landlords and are shown around. Jolly likes the sun room / conservatory. "What luxury!"

The bungalow is clean and tidy. The smart garden is weeded and the lawn immaculately cut. 

I explore the town. Not really the Cheltenham slum that I was expecting - nor really a holiday destination either. Maybe I'd change my mind.

There's a crop of supermarkets and local shops. The local book shop has the usual guide books - I purchase a couple and a local map. I was bemused to see text books on UML and amateur radio call books. The proprietor explains the amateur radio books; he's a G4 and the UML - engineers at nearby GCHQ use it.

Jolly Molly is now ready for her supper: fish and chips at the Royal Oak. An entirely adequate family pub with a pint of Tetley.

We drive around the town, with a clear view of the Malvern Hills, and she's ready for her "coffee before bedtime." 

Why does she have a stimulant before going to sleep?

Sudeley Castle

I spend the bright sunny afternoon walking around the grounds. Cromwell vandalised a some of the structure: only parts of the main hall and tithe barn remain. 

Hailes Abbey

Hailes Abbey is just the other side of Winchcombe. 

Tea and biscuits is available from the nearby fruit farm. Pleasant restaurant overlooking orchard. A field busy with "pick your own" signs. How voluntary? I'm not sure. There are several minibuses parked in the field. It looks like a scene from India. Colourfully dressed people are bending over picking spring onions.

Oh yes, the remains abbey are worth exploring. Even Jolly Molly walks around the square of the cloister. 

The Pitkin guide DISSOLUTION OF THE MONASTERIES gives a good introduction as to why these splendid buildings were abandoned.

The skeletal ruins of monasteries throughout England and Wales stand as stark reminders of the four years (1536–40) during King Henry VIII's reign when 10,000 monks, nuns and friars were dispersed. This reasoned guide explores whether religion or money motivated the Dissolution, and evaluates the results.

National Birds Of Prey Centre

The National Birds Of Prey Centre is situated near Newant, a half an hour drive through  Cheltenham  and around the Gloucester ring road. There's no bypass around Cheltenham. Cheltenham is one way hell. It's damned tedious to drive through.

It's great fun seeing her show the birds. I imagine she treats her dogs, staff, and visitors the same way. 

She teases her assistant, 17 year old Gary, while he puts an owl through its paces. 

Some black Labradors help. There are 5 adults and 6 pups within the grounds.

The flying demonstration exercises an albino kestrel, a pair of Harris hawks, a Golden Eagle, a falcon, and Gareth's Owl. The handlers explain that some of the birds are not at their peak - a tad overweight. This is normal for this time of year, just after a 5 month wintering rest.

Tyres in Cheltenham

I locate a tyre fitter in Cheltenham. Actually finding the damn place in the unfamiliar town is tricky. One day when every car has a GPS installed, shops will give out their map grid references. Or I'll install MapPoint on my laptop!

The tyre is replaced by a pair of reasonable lads. I take the break to wander around the town. Pleasant - the smarter and more presentable version of its neighbour Gloucester. At Waterstones I buy some reading material: A Density of Souls and The Common Thread.

I interact with a cross section of people. A ticking off from a prim middle age smartly dressed woman as I walk in front of the municipal offices. "Get off the grass!" she orders.

I do so out of sheer amazement. The grass is well walked and rutted.

I defer to her complaints. How sweet to have only trampled grass to worry about.

Later on a foul smelling tramp demands: "10p for a cuppa, mate?" 

"No! Sod off!" I retort, "A quid is the minimum I'd expect to pay around here."

The drunk walks straight out into the road. A van brakes, stops and misses him - the two following cars behind shunt into the back. It would have been cheaper to give him the 10p: but more fun not to.

I collect my car, and leave Cheltenham in mayhem.

St George's Day

The flags are out on all the churches. 

"Hooray for St George!" chuckles Jolly.

Evesham

Jolly wants to see Evesham. My friends that have been on training courses there have said that it's a dead place and have even made the journey over to visit me in Milton Keynes. That might give you an idea how bad the place is!

Jolly Molly's last visit was in 1930 something - it's changed a bit. I collect some filled baguettes and canned drinks and we sit in a park by the river Avon. She's happy to enjoy the warm weather and the view of the water.

Belas Knap

I deposit Jolly for her afternoon siesta and drive to nearby Belas Knap, a 3000 year old Neolithic burial mound. I park by the road where there are dire warnings about thieves. Shattered laminate glass is twinkling in the grass verge.

A half mile walk up hill and there it is - well what's left after several generations have interfered with it. The state tidied it up in 1931 and has maintained it since then. It's impressive anyway.

I return down hill. After a couple of minutes : "How much further is it?" A student asks coming up the other way.

I look at my GPS and reply: "4 miles-ish". 

"Bugger that!" he replies. Dejected, he starts to turn to follow me down hill.

"It's only a couple of minutes - I'm having you on!"

Excellent! Winding up three strangers in one day. "Cool!" 

This must be some side effect of humouring Jolly Molly for a week.

I drive via Snowshill, Broadway and back to Evesham. This gives me time to wander around. I plan suitable stops for a Jolly Molly sojourn later this week.

Today is the first really warm day this year. A sunny 20°C.

Broadway Tower

Today's lunchtime treat is held at Broadway Tower. Broadway empty in morning but soon fills up in afternoon coaches of tourists. 

The village is pleasant enough - Jolly likes the slow drive through the town. 

From the tower there are 14 counties visible, although not today, another sunny day but too hazy. 

Here's the official list, held by the good soul in the tower, not in any publication, digitally transferred to this very page!

COUNTIES VISIBLE (in clear conditions) FROM BROADWAY TOWER

Clockwise from North:

1. West Midlands
2. Staffordshire
3. Warwickshire
4. Leicestershire
5. Northamptonshire
6. Buckinghamshire
7. Wiltshire
8. Gloucestershire
9. Bath & North Somerset (Formally Avon)
10. Gwent
11. Herefordshire
12. Worcestershire
13. Dyfed
14. Shropshire

The day warms up. 22°C the gauges in the car announce. We have toasted sandwiches with the goats and rabbits at the tower picnic site.

I lead Jolly Molly to the Ladies toilet - "It's so warm - I've still got my winter vest on!" she proclaims.

The 20 or so visitors enjoying their lunch smirk.

Jolly Molly strikes up a conversation with a fellow reliever in the toilet.

"How did she know I still had my winter vest on?" Jolly recounts as I lead her away. 

I propel her to an isolated bench hidden in the trees with instructions not to speak to anyone or anything whilst I go and inspect Broadway Tower.

Cousin Arthur was not in. Sir Arthur Evans lived at the tower in the early 1930's. Of course he's not in - he died in 1941 for one thing. The tower was not his only home, but an escape from life in Oxford. I imagine he enjoyed life here.

I drive Jolly Molly back to Bishops Cleeve via some delightful villages.

The good thing about a GPS is that you can't get lost. Set a waypoint as destination and lazily follow the arrow - no wrong turns.

Evesham

I return to Evesham - lazing in the sun in Abbey Park, stuffing myself on Cornish pasties from a local bakers, reading a book.

Evesham

Cooler and fresher, still we have sun.

Jolly Molly wants to go to Evesham - now that I've found reasonable access for her. 

2nd floor of the Abbey Park car park: a door opens straight on to the parkland. The transition is startling - a dark cold concrete car park with the smell of petrol and exhaust. Pass through a door and your immediately in a warm bright green parkland.

She appears satisfied with the park. A couple of rolls and fizzy drink she's very happy. 

"How do they make these rolls? They are crisp on the outside and soft in the middle!" Jolly Molly asks.

"They're fresh, Mother dear." I respond.

Tewksbury

The Landmark Trust have care of the Abbey Gatehouse, one of the buildings that surrounds the Abbey.

Criticisms

None really. I could question where the boundaries of the Cotswolds lie. They're not clearly defined. Is the boundary Gloucester plus a bit of surrounding countryside? Or is it the geological limestone belt from Stamford in Lincolnshire down to Dorset?

I guess you're in the Cotswolds when the wall look like this.