Intro
10 Nutters do Malta
September 2001 - and it's time for a holiday. Nick and friends take a week's break in Malta.
None of us, apart from Gavin, have been to Malta - this will be a new experience. Gavin spent his last years at school there - around five years ago. He's keen to see how things have changed.
We're all keen to have a break from our day jobs.
Comments? Email me! Planning Page
Tuesday 25th September
We're off!
Gatwick
A direct train takes
me from Milton
Keynes to Gatwick, on a wet autumn afternoon. The
train arrives at Gatwick at 17:00 and 10 minutes later I meet up with the rest of
the Nutters. We check in and find a bar to relax and talk and drink.
Flight
are our hosts for the week. They have a A320 to fly us to Malta.
Who are JMC? They're result of Club 18-30 merging with Caledonian Airways, apparently.
Malta
We are welcomed by the heat, and a tatty visa form to complete. We collect our baggage and clear customs quickly. The luggage is bundled onto a box van - and we board a coach. We're with 50 other odd souls on our way to Bugibba. A chirpy JMC rep talks to us as the coach makes its way to Bugibba.
I do not like being chirped at at 1 o'clock in the morning.
The coach is regularly over-taken on the inside. It merrily drives though a set of red traffic lights. This is our first taste of Maltese driving!
Winston Apartments
The coach empties passenger en route to our Hotel, the Winston Apartments
in Bugibba, pronounced ‘Booojiba’.
We have booked accommodation for the ten of us. Six in one apartment, Four in another. We find the six bed apartment (D3) - twin rooms, one of which has an en-suite, bathroom, and large kitchen / lounge that overlooks the pool.
We check out the second apartment (A7). This is a more humble affair. One
twin bedroom, kitchen and bathroom. The beds are narrow 2' 6"
affairs. A special mention of the stoical souls that occupied the inferior
accommodation: Maky, Bernie, Dave and myself, (Nick, your webmaster, editor, and
tormenter of Jack.)
My immediate reaction to the cramped accommodation was "bugger this - let's find a proper hotel room tomorrow!"
The aforementioned stoical souls and Jennifer look for beer. We walk towards the sea front, 400 metres away, and find a 24 hour bar to reflect, drink, drink some more, tuck into some gateaux, drink some more, then welcome the dawn.
We wander down to the sea front. The beach is bizarre. There's no sand, just a weird eroded limestone shelf meeting clear blue seawater. Most odd.
Our group meanders back to the apartments - for an hour's sleep.
Wednesday 26th September
Organising cars and swimming at Sliema Point
JMC Rep
The JMC rep wants the fresh batch of holiday makers to attend a presentation of what's been organised for them. We Nutters have no intention of participating in package holidays. We may be mad, but we're not sad. We do have some self-respect.
Avis
We decide to hire some cars. The rep is happy that our party will be independent. He recommends the local Avis car rental garage.
There are two cars available - a 5 door with air con, and a smaller 3 door without air con.
Bernie and I are driven to the Avis forecourt by a boy racer. Our second taste of Maltese driving.
Driving
I relish the idea of driving in this country with its mad, dangerous road users. It's like driving in London, only more so: everybody is alert, and anything goes. There remains the strong British influence. Drive on the left, familiar road signs, zebra crossings and other road markings.
The roads are well worn, and have a slippery sheen. Any moderate acceleration or braking is met with a delightful squeal from the tyres. Revving the engine, dropping the clutch, whilst turning a tight corner gives an exhilarating screech.
Bernie, Dave and the Jennies adopt the air con car: Nick, Gavin, Maky, and Rick take the other.
Jack and Andy alternate between the two. Their choice:
- a carefully driven air conditioned vehicle
- a robustly driven, open air death bucket
Rick's two way radios prove to be useful. We can keep in touch should we get split up from each other. This happens with my driving!
Sliema Point
We drive a long the coast. After ten minutes we park up close to a rock beach near a dilapidated pier. The beach has man made pools carved from the bed rock - with clear sea water breaking over. Railing and ladders are mostly eroded or absent. Safety is a bit optional in Malta.
The Jennies buy snorkels and flippers.
Everyone enjoys a swim. The stronger ones swim across to the remains of the pier.
We return to our hotel for a siesta - some of us didn't have much sleep last night!
Evening meal
Gavin recommends a restaurant in St Julian's. This is a pizza place "Papparazzi" that overlooks Spinola bay.
I suggest starters - expecting garlic bread nibbles. Where I lead, others follow. We get served wonderful cheese soaked bread that would have done for the main course. Excessive! The main course pizza were equally generous.
We never ordered starters for the rest of the holiday. Food in Malta is generous. (Makes up for the bloody long wait.)
Winston Apartments Bar
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We retire to our hotel bar. The beer is very good. The local beer is Cisk, a lager, or, my preference, Hop Leaf, a bitter. Cisk is pronounced Chisk. A soft drink Kinnie is pretty disgusting. I buy a can for the experience. The apartments are not so bad, especially after several pints! I reckon I can happily stay there with a nightly pre-charge of beer. We retire to our beds. Bernie's notebook computer alarm wakes us. Maky silences the contraption by ripping out its batteries. We sleep. |
Thursday 27th September
A routine forms
Breakfast
We fall in to a pattern of meeting up each morning for breakfast at the larger apartment. Jennifer does a good job keeping the fridge stocked.
A cup of tea, food, a chat, and a dip in the pool is a very pleasant way to start the day.
Winston's Pool
We enjoy the pool in the hotel complex. The pool is surrounded with sun-loungers, populated with "family units." The other holidaymakers look on amid mutterings of:
"Why have those two women got seven men?
"Who's married to whom?"
"Why have they got a boy with them?
They were probably apprehensive about potential drunken rowdiness, and disturbed nights. No, they would have no problems from the Nutters.
Maky camps it up a bit - just to wind up the tourists. Every time he gets into the pool, he screams like a girl.
Cars
Bernie and I planned to rise early so we could re-organise the cars. Our appointment at Avis is for 8:30. After a leisurely breakfast we get there at 10:00. We are late. It doesn't matter: we're in Malta.
We upgrade the 3 door car to a 5 door. Still no air con. Dave and Maky are added to the list of "named drivers".
The extra drivers are a useful backup, although I'm happy to drive - I enjoy the madness.
Valletta
|
Feral cats greet us as we walk up the long hill up to Valletta. Young Jack is not so impressed. He is not in to walking, especially if there's a possibility of a car ride. He said the city "Sucked ass", and rated the experience a one out of ten. Bernie too was not very complimentary. He said he would be quite happy with a crane and wrecking ball. "Should be sorted in an hour or two."
Andy, Bernie, Gavin and I walk back to collect the cars. The back streets more interesting. They're lived in, and are used, not like the anonymous shops on the main streets. Bernie stops off to buy some dried cat food - a treat for the many fluffies. |
Sliema
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After a swim in the rock hewn pools we found the day before, we dine at the Tex Mex opposite an old fort. We now ignore starters. |
![Nick tormenting Jack [Photo © Jenny]](images/nickjack.jpg)
Evening
We return to Bugibba for a session in the hotel bar. Our conversations deteriorate from PGP keys to RFC's for tele-orgasmics, and beyond.
We retire to our rooms. Tonight it's the turn of one of my electronic appliances to disturb us. My radio chooses to wake us up with fading short-wave strains of "Land of Hope and Glory" emanating from my locked suitcase. Spooky.
Friday 28th September
Golden Bay and Mdina
Golden Bay
We find a bay with
sand, not rock! There's a sandy beach, with people reading Die
Welt. We create out own territory with loungers and brollies.
The water is really clear. There's lots of fishes to be seen when snorkelling. The beach shelves gently - making for safe swimming.
Rick and Gavin jet ski. Rick returns shaking. "They're fast. 50 mph."
Andy looses himself in an internet cafe.
Land Rover fanatics
Dave has arranged a meeting with a couple of fellow Land Rover fanatics. We will meet them at Mdina, where there's an open air bar.
Leo and David arrive. They're easily spotted in their light coloured Landies. Beers are bought and we pass a couple of pleasant hours talking about things technical.
Both Leo and David work in IT. David works at GFI. He and I chat about Microsoft Windows, and new developments. This is much to the disgust of the others who are Linux lovers. David and I know where the money is when it comes to serious computing.
We say our goodbyes - and enter the Silent City.
Mdina
Mdina is the old capital, set on top of a rocky crag. It's an old fortress, a
walled city.
The place feels like a museum - not really lived in.
Yet more old buildings prompted Jack to comment "this sucks". He liked
the dungeons,
however.
Back to Bugibba for our evening's refreshment. Gavin navigates well - we don't mind getting lost.
We enjoy the sights.
Saturday 29th September
Blue Lagoon
Hotel Pool
We spend the morning relaxing at the hotel pool. I experiment with the snorkel mask - damned weird breathing air under water!
Cominotto Blue Lagoon
We drive to Cirkewwa to catch the midday boat to island of Cominotto. This
small island has a cliff
one side, and the Blue Lagoon on the other.
Jennifer has organised us: we have the material to make lots of sandwiches, and lots of bottled water.
The larger island of Comino is a 122 metre swim away. Most of the Nutters accomplish this feat.
The small beach has white sand and is saturated with sunbathers.
I take it easy. Sod swimming. I'm happy to be a food dispatcher - making sandwiches on request. I explore the island with Jack. The eroded cliffs are spectacular.
Jenny and Bernie play HF radios at 14:00.
Jenny,
Jennifer, Maky and Gavin snorkel in a deep rocky pool. They swim underwater from one
pool to another via rock arches. Gavin finds a deep submerged passageway to swim
through.
The boat returns at 16:00 to pick us up. We and all the other beach babes leave - all is deserted. What must the place be like in summer?
Petrol
Dave Bernie and I decide it's time to fill up with petrol. We search Bugibba - no luck. Beginning to panic, we drive to St Julian's where we eventually find a petrol station. Of course, there's another garage next to it!
Ten Lira fills the cars - the fuel is paid for first by inserting bank notes in to a machine. Different.
Evening
A respectable Chinese restaurant is found in Bugibba's tourist street. We retire early at 21:30, only to continue talking on the balconies till midnight. The weather is very warm and humid.
Sunday 30th September
Storm, cliffs and prickly pears
Storm
The weather breaks in the early hours. Lightening, thunder and heavy rain. It
even drowns out the street noise.
I had become expert at recognising the sounds from the poorly maintained cars - sloppy cam followers, exhausts, suspension...
At 03:00 rubbish is collected. At 04:00 green bottles are recycled. At 05:00 brown ones...
well that how it appears to be.
The Maltese government is intending to encourage a better class of tourist. They don't want their island to be the poor man's Ibiza.
Hmmmm...we're getting to know the "Club Med" ditties too...We must pay a visit to Danny DeVito's cabaret bar some time.
Morning swim
 It's still raining - that doesn't stop Jack and I having a swim in the hotel
pool.
The sun soon reappears, and the rest of the Nutters join us. |
Midday meal
|
We order food. There's a one hour wait for some goat's cheese snack! We are in the med! There's no hurry! |
Dingli Cliffs
|
I attack a prickly pear growing wild. It attacks me with its very fine hair
like prickles. The fruit tastes - well - OK. |
Evening
  We go to "Bognor" on the front at Bugibba for our evening's food and beer!The Jennys, Bernie and Maky try the club and pub scene in St Julian's. (Clubs - a bit sad, no atmosphere, loud music) |
The Holiday Makers From Hell
Are they Italian? Glaswegian? From the North East? 8 noisy bastards are lined up on the next balcony until 04:00 - Arrrgghh!! We do not sleep.
Monday 1st October
Gozo, Boat and Imax
Gozo
|
We drive to the north of the island to the port at Cirkewwa and drive straight on to the ferry. Buy the time we've climbed the decks to the restaurant, the ferry is underway to Gozo. No waiting - very un-Mediterranean! We drive to Xlendi Bay. A small quay surrounded by steep rocky cliffs All Maltese boats have the "Eyes of Osiris" painted on the bow, scaring off the evil spirits.
We motor to Fungus rock and Dwejra bay. Here we anchor and swim in the clear water.
Returning to our restaurant, the Moby Dick, we order an excellent omelette / pizza. Time for tea and stroll in the harbour. This is a quieter, more relaxed place than Bugibba. We could we spend a night here very easily!
My car hacks it back to the hotel, the occupants singing 10cc and SouthPark songs. I'm disappointed that the recent rain has cleaned the roads. Tyre squeal is a lot less apparent. |
Imax cinema
We visit the Imax theatre in St
Julian's. We see Into the
Deep a film about starfishes and shoals. Really a test
piece, and aimed at school kids. Although
brilliantly shot, it's not a film I'd recommend. The 3D effect in some shots is really
very good.
Next door is a Kentucky Fried Chicken rip-off snack bar "Chick King". They sell very good real chicken snacks.
Evening
Somehow we loose the apartment key - an excuse to have some more beer. A new set of keys is provided - cost one Lira. (The locals call the Lira the pound. This could be confusing.)
We're bemused as starwebmalta take some photos of the hotel bar, and our good selves.
Tuesday 2nd October
Say goodbye!
Sleep
We had a quiet night! Our noisy friends have gone.
Pack and Checkout
A leisurely start - we pack our luggage and store our bags in a games room ready for the
evening's departure.
We checkout.
Splash and Fun
|
We drive to the nearby water sports park - flumes and pools. The place looks deserted. No - someone's there. They don't do breakfasts - so we head off to St Julian's, near to the Imax, and track down some Cheese cake and Pea cake, and milk shakes... I buy a laptop "carry on" bag - 3L90 - a bargain. (I show everybody it - it's a real bargain!) Maky - who likes furry things - pointed out another stuffed sheep that I must have. I now have a flock to bring back on the plane. We return to the "Splash and Fun" water park. The circular lagoon pool is ideal for me - almost empty - 10 or so others, salt water - for added buoyancy - several hours of floating around. I swim like a fish (OK a cross between a squid and a beached whale.) Rick, Maky, Gavin and Jack enjoy the water slides. Some of the Nutters visit Popeye - I remain happily squidding in the pool.
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Bugibba
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I buy Bernie a solar powered cap. One last beer back at the hotel. The coach collects us and other holiday makers at 20:40
The JMC guide - stage name Fluffy - gives the commentary. Usual "Did you have a nice time in
Malta?" |
Airport
At the airport - a waiting game. Boarding at 22:40. At 22:40 local time we learn that's the boarding time in GMT - so we have another hour to wait. Then another 1/2 hour delay because of some arbitrary reason...
Now if we knew about the delay sooner we would have have had a more leisurely look around the duty free shops - instead of waiting at the exit gate...
Wednesday 3rd October
We're Home
Cambridge
The plane lands at 02:40. That's half an hour quicker than the scheduled journey time.
I decide to stay with the others and drive back to Cambridge, not wanting to wait 4 hours for a train to
Milton Keynes.
M23, M25, M11. "Traffic Flowing Freely" - as you might say. We're in Cambridge at 4:30.
We sleep!
Headlines
We travel while the airline industry suffers. Headlines report that Swissair, Sabina, are having a bad time. No night flights from Heathrow.
British Airways said it has lost one in three of its transatlantic passengers.
British Midland cuts 600 jobs.
Conclusion
Sun, swimming and squealing tyres
Malta has lots of sun and good food. There's a strong British influence, mixed with Arabic. A friendly country.
After reading though this diary, I see we didn't do anything really extreme. Just a relaxing holiday with some friends.
Several months on, a friend comments: "So Malta's a bit of a dive then? Your web pages make the place appear real crap!"
"No, It was a really good holiday!" I retort.
On re-reading these pages I see there is the odd, rare disparaging comment. May be I am too critical. I certainly don't want to sound like some travel brochure.
We had a really good holiday! Really!
Ratings
Nick's ratings:
- The boat on Gozo.
- The "Splash and Fun" water park pool on the last day.
- Golden Bay.
Web Design
One of our many drunken arguments centred on Web Design, or more specifically, HTML creation. Some Nutters happily use a text editor, others put up with FrontPage. The important issue being that the web page should be viewable by all browsers, the bane in any web developer's life.
I, the professional Windows Developer kept quiet. I love Bill Gates: he would never let me down. "I don't do errors."
Upon my return home, having put together these "Malta Nutters" pages, I idly ran them through the HTML validator. Errors streamed out!
My arrogance and smugness is now acknowledged.
The various ASP scripts are now fixed. I can now show you "that [I] have taken the care to create an interoperable Web page,
[I] may display 
on any page that
validates".
The style sheet is also fixed. 